Saturday, September 6, 2008

Little T attented real school on Tues & Wed this week. Daddy was the one who accompanied her as I was away on a business trip. These 2 days left us with alot to think about.

T has been mostly a well behaved child. We adopt the Montessori approach at home, so we don't have many noisy toys and T rarely throws tantrums or scream. Her toys are well organized and she has now learnt that she neats to tidy up after she plays. We are really blessed with a well behaved child.

However, the noise in school this week seems to have made T a little uneasy. Don't get me wrong. Some parent have commented that perhaps we don't let T mix with other kids enough, but I don't think that is the cause. T already attends playgroup 3 times a week, but the ambience is also well managed thanks to the tight control of the teacher and she totally enjoys playing with the kids there.

From what Daddy has described to me, some of the kids in school seems to be less under control. Kids crying and screaming, some parents shouting at children. Toys being thrown around. Daddy said there was one child pinching and poking T and the child's mother just stood and watched. Daddy had no choice but to pull the child's hand away from T. I think T's personality is just more docile. She is used to a calm environment and prefers having one to one or small group conversation rather than vying for attention by been loud and rowdy.

We are having second thoughts about whether we should let T be more rowdy too? Allow her to throw tantrums and throw her toys about? Teach her how to 'fight' with others?

But observing her the past 2 years, I don't think this is her personality. She is warm and affectionate to people she knows well. She is a little more wary and cautious of strangers. But isn't it the same with us adults. I have no doubt about her intelligence. She may not be academically inclined, but she definately learns skills at an amazing pace. We have been so happy with having a child like her, so calm, mature and reasonable. So innocent yet cheeky. So understanding of our feelings, knowing when to and not to do things. I can walk the pavement with her without holding hands and won't have to worry about her running into the street. She cleans up after her own spills and puts her own dirty laundry into the laundry basket.

Do we really have to 'change' her to behave like the other kids so that she won't be labelled as 'anti social' and 'slow' ?

I recall when reading the 'The Absorbent Mind' written by 'Maria Montessori', that it was commented that most visitors were surprised by how quiet, calm and organized the children in the Montessori school was. It is surprising that after so many years, some people still find it strange to see such a young child that is calm and quiet. Someone even told me that this is unnatural and that perhaps we are too strict with her.

I hope I have made the right choice by bringing up my child the Montessori way.